Repitition

I haven't been blogging here much. Not that I'm not trying to be healthy and work out because I am. I have just been focused on other things like school and my son. But mostly angry at myself for repeating the same cycle every week of eating good during the week and then messing it all up on the weekends. So I avoid blogging. Probably the wrong move, I need to be more accountable. This has just been a stressful couple of months. One of these days I'll stick to plan, lost another 5 lbs and then there will be no stopping me.

Progress?

I haven't been here in a while. I've been so busy with school and my son's senior year and working out, it's been crazy. I'm on a good roll this week, having worked out every day so far. Tomorrow I will take the day off and go to my son's homecoming game. Saturday will be a challenge as far as the eating because I have a party to attend. My thought is that I will try to eat before hand so I won't be tempted to indulge at the party. At least that's my plan now. My ultimate goal for this week is to NOT undo all my efforts of the week by splurging on the weekends. That's what I've done for the last couple years, and I hope this time it really sinks in.

New theme

I decided to make this blog strictly about my weight loss journey, since I always seem to be on that journey I think it would help to have a blog strictly devoted to that, including highs and lows and which things work and what doesn't. I think it will help it I journal things so I can see what I'm doing right and wrong.

My step mom got me a book that she picked up at a garage sale called "3-Hour Diet" by Jorge Cruise. I picked it up right away and started reading it, and the concept is pretty similar to what I follow....when I'm on track. More importantly I learned the technical reasons why it's not good to wait longer than 3 hours to eat and what actually happens when you skip a meal and wait longer than you should. During the week I typically eat every three hours anyway, so I don't think that will be a problem. Weekends are hard for me, so I will have to prepare for them accordingly.

Onward and upward!

Supporting a Friend

I was recently faced with a predicament that I wasn't sure what I should do about. A friend of mine is married and based on what I know, I don't like the way her husband treats her at all. She puts up with emotional and verbal abuse, his laziness and refusal to get a job, she shoulders all of the bills and any left over spending money while he comes up with reasons and excuses not to work, there's a big possibility of him cheating, he lacks comprehension about how serious the situation is, and is just downright disrespecting my friend. I try not go judge this person because I'm no saint and I don't know what goes on in the minds of others. Some of the things I can understand, having seen people lose their jobs and have a tough time getting motivated to back to work again. Other things I don't understand, like emotionally wearing down the one person that puts a roof over your head and food in your mouth. Every time I hear of something else he's said or done, another part of me dislikes him.

When she invited me to his birthday BBQ that was scheduled today, I originally said yes. But the more stories I hear on a daily basis, the more I started thinking....why do I want to go and celebrate HIM? So he turned another year older....big deal. He advanced in age and went backwards in maturity. Big flipping deal! I told my friend last week that I didn't feel like celebrating him and she told me I should look at it like a chance to hang out with her. Which is true.

But I couldn't bring myself to go. Especially knowing that he invited two of the ho's that he may have cheated with. I think I disappointed my friend though, I know she wanted me there. And late last week I revealed my feelings to her that I was probably not attending based on how he treats her, which I think in turn made her not want to confide in me much about it anymore. She said she didn't want to put anymore negative thoughts about him in my head. I assured her that was not the case, I am simply reacting to the things she's telling me. So I don't think she'll be talking to me about him very much anymore.

How do I feel about that? I think she's missing the point. She condones his behavior so it's partly her fault and then makes excuses for it and states that he claims he's going to change and things will get better - which they never.

So I struggle with the idea of supporting her in these type of situations, or being honest with her about not wanting to be around him. I'm a pretty firm believer in honestly so I hope that she can see that my support comes in a different shape, but I am there for her regardless.

Head Games

Why is it when you eat healthy for a couple of days you suddenly feel thinner but then get jerked back in to reality when you realize the scale has barely moved yet because it's only been TWO DAYS? LOL

I had another successful day with the Total Lean Shakes and my regular food. I haven't been snacking at night so the shake at night is totally saving me. The only problem with it is that I think it has too much fiber for my own personal liking. But that will all work out. Now I just want to see some more movement on the scale! I made the mistake of getting on tonight, knowing full well that I'm heavier at night so now I'm bummed. I'll try again in a few days...in the morning of course!

I have the next few days off which should be fairly busy. My son has his first football game tomorrow night (Go Warriors!!) but during the day I would like to get him started with school shopping and a haircut. I'll be glad when he goes back to school so we can get back to a normal and regular routine!

Captain Crabbypants

A co-worker named a certain someone "Captain Crabbypants" which I think is perfect. Here is why. Some men have moods that are worse than women’s. I’m coming to realize that it’s just as annoying when it’s someone that you have to spend almost every day with, and that someone isn’t a boyfriend or a friend. It’s awkward, irritating and uncomfortable having to deal with someone that barely speaks when they are in a mood. We all have to be here….so why not make it the most pleasant experience possible? What’s even more annoying is the notion that when the mood is over, we are all expected to laugh, make light conversation and be jovial as if nothing ever happened. It’s 3 against 1 here….and there’s more mood from the male than the 3 females put together. LIGHTEN UP. We all have troubles, worries and issues and that we manage to put on the backburner when we need to. Or maybe even sometimes we have moods of our own. But it’s not a DAILY thing. It doesn’t vary minute to minute.

On a better note, I started my Total Lean shakes today and I had a successful day. Actually I went under calories which probably isn't a good thing, but I still have to play around with different foods to eat and what time to drink the 2 shakes. Since my problem eating happens after dinner, I'm thinking of having the shake at night. I hope that works out. I have my menu planned out for tomorrow and I'm excited and if I stick to it, it will be another successful day.

Busy Year

It's that time again, back to school for both my son and I. It's going to be a busy year for me. I'm hoping to be transferred to another office at the end of the year when my bosses retire and the new administration comes in. This will hopefully result in a new position for me with more money. I have to keep communication open with my boss to see that it happens.

School starts in a couple of weeks. I got two out of three course requirements and I'll have a lot of work to do. I'm so NOT looking forward to it.

My son is a senior this year, and also involved in two sports....football and then baseball in the spring. So in between running him to practice and games, I need to set up a plan for him next year. Since he has no idea what he wants to do and no motivation to figure it out, it will be up to me to lay something out for him. If for nothing else, he will need to go to school full time in order to stay on my health insurance, or get a full time job and pay for his own.

In order to do either of those things, he'll need a car. Which means getting him to study for his permit and take the test, then take him out driving. All the while I will be putting money away to buy him a cheap yet hopefully reliable car. There's no chance of him being able to get one for himself since he won't be able to get a job until next June, after baseball season.

Aside from all that, I still have the goal to lose weight and be in better shape, which means continuing to fit workouts in. I'm getting tired just thinking about all that needs to be done. One step at a time, I suppose. This year is going to go too fast. I must find time to enjoy my son, which is at the top of the list.