Another day

I'm glad that Monday is over! It wasn't anything bad in particular, I just wasn't in the mood to put on a pretend smile and act like everything is great...but I did. I had another blah day though. I wonder when it will get better. Tonight I started thinking about something that really bums me out. The biggest thing I'm going to miss about Scott is the chemistry we have. We have amazing chemistry and I've never felt more comfortable and free to be me with anyone else in my life. I know I should think positively but what if I never find that again? I don't think I will. It's taken me all this time to find that and now it's gone, he took that away from me.
I know I shouldn't care, but he hasn't tried to contact me either. That's probably a good thing but it affirms to me that I'm not as important as he made me out to be and now that he's declaring his love for his ex - whether they are together or not, I don't know - he really doesn't need me around anyway. Please jab the knife in my heart a little deeper.

Other than my crazy random thoughts it was a pretty quiet day. I'm taking off Thursday and Friday and I can't wait. I look forward to not having to put up a front and just be alone with my thoughts....or not think at all.

***In honor of thinking positively thanks to a kick ass chic***** (I don't know how to add her blog URL here or I would!) I want to give a shout out to a really good friend of mine. She's actually my best friend and she's always there for me especially during times like this and she let's me talk about it as much as I want to. Sometimes she gives me very tough love and is very harsh but generally when I'm feeling down and I want to talk about my feelings, she's there for me and she doesn't ever get "tired" of hearing me ponder the same things over and over. I'm grateful for her. She was even going to call HIM up and tell him off, and at first I agreed but thankfully I came to my senses and called off the dogs. LOL! She typed out what she was going to say and DAMN....she gives new meaning to ripping a new asshole. LOL But I don't need to go out like that. I've quietly disappeared and I think it's best that way.

Tomorrow is another day, it's supposed to be gorgeous and I'm one day closer to being over him. Yay!