My New Years "Intentions"

It's been a long time (too long) since I posted. I got a great idea from another blogger who indicated that she doesn't make new years resolutions, she makes intentions. I liked that idea because resolutions sounded too formal.....too uppity....too darn disappointing when broken. So I, too, am going to make some New Years Intentions this year. Here they are as follows:

1) Blog more - at least 4-5 times per week even if it's nothing interesting or a few lines.
2) Lose weight - eating right and exercising consistently is included with this
3) Leave the bad stuff from 2008 behind and focus on being more positive (will be challenging)
4) Do more "fun" things

So my first intention speaks for itself. Blog more. Simple concept.....so why is it so hard for me to be consistent with that? For a while I guess it was because I didn't have anything positive to write (will get to that more in a bit.....but looking at my last blog one would see why). Then I got really busy with the school work that I slacked off on all semester, therefore spending every free moment from November-December doing homework. So, no more of that. I will make time to at least write a little something as much as I can during the week.

My second intention also speaks for itself. I want to.....no, wait....I NEED to lose weight. I don't feel comfortable with myself and my body is telling me to get with it. Lately my knee has started hurting and I think it's from the extra weight. I was doing good with the gym for about a month there in November, and then cramming for school plus the holidays stopped me. I need to get back in to it again not only for health reasons but also because it made me feel good. Overall I was in a better mood and it actually helped me through one of the most difficult weeks of my life so far. So I need to do that.

Leaving the bad stuff behind. Well let's see....2008 consisted of meeting the love of my life and then losing the love of my life. But the worst part about losing him was that we both have not been able to let each other go. We have remained friends, although we still have more of a connection than just being friends. We have been unable to let each other go. Me for obvious reasons, I'm still (yes to this day) in love with him and he doesn't want to let me go for reasons I'm not sure of. I think I make him feel good and he doesn't want to lose that. We do have a connection....he's just in love with someone else. Although one could question (and I have in one huge fit of rage towards him) how can you be in love with someone but be talking to someone else that you have feelings for? Well that's complicated I guess and something I can't answer because I'm not in that situation. ANYWAY.....back to my intention. I would like to try not to focus on that anymore and focus on taking it for what it is and moving forward. There's been a lot of anger and tears the last six months, I'm ready to be at least content. I was happy being single once....I would like to feel that way again. Now, all this being said.....this will be my hardest intention to do. It's way easier said than done. Not that I'm a negative person...just emotional and I have a big heart. :o)

My last intention....doing more "fun" things. By that I mean doing more things I enjoy instead of just going to work and coming home during the week. There's nothing wrong with going to catch a movie during the week with my son, or meeting a friend for a drink after work or just doing something out of the ordinary and fun to break up the monotony of the week. I need to do that more, and I also need to give myself things to look forward to. Like a vacation, or a fun outing on the weekend.

These are my intentions.