I stumbled across the journal that I kept for my Women's Journals and Diaries class that I took last year. I made the mistake of reading through it. It took me back to the time last year in the couple of months before things went sour with McS. There were so many entries where I talked about us having a fight or about him being distant. I even questioned in there if he had found someone else. He did of course, I should have known. But even then he denied that it was anything serious and he didn't want to "rule me out" as he put it.
Sigh. It made me feel kind of bad after I read it and I did what I normally do and crawled under my covers to take a nap. I was tired anyway. But fortunately my silly cat kept me awake and so I snapped out of my funk, took a shower and feel much better now. I can't change what happened, I can only change how I handle things NOW. So, I guess that's a nice reality for me. But I won't be reading anymore journal entries any time soon. :o)
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