Since my newfound dedication to MYSELF...I'm realizing it's like a second job. It actually takes effort to think about my own needs, and staying positive and not dwelling on what's wrong. But I think so far I'm doing ok.
I do wake up in the morning and I think about McS. Yesterday morning I awoke from dreaming all night about him. They were intimate dreams too...ugh...and seemed very 'real'. I never have dreams like that.....I wonder why now? Am I being tested? GRRRR
This morning again I thought about him and it wasn't easy to shift the focus so I sat down and drafted an email.....but I'm not going to send it. Go me! I don't want to be the person anymore that shares every single thing I am thinking. That's what got me in to trouble sometimes. So just because I have feelings, it doesn't mean I have to share them. I want to be like a guy, darnit. LOL!
Yesterday I got out of the house for the day. I had coffee in the morning and then started feeling like I was getting too comfortable being lazy, so I put my workout clothes on and headed to the gym. I came home and took a shower and my son and I went to the movies. We went to see "Last House on the Left" which was good, but I did not expect it to be so gory and graphic. I didn't know much about the movie but I thought it was more of a horror film. It wasn't and I must admit some of the content kind of embarassed me as I was sitting next to my son. LOL But we had a good time. We walked the mall after and then I relaxed the rest of the day.
Getting out and doing things is such a good way to take my mind off what's going on. So many times I have been at home on the weekends just doing stuff around the house but my mind was very active. I over thought things, I tended to focus on everything that was going wrong and it's just not healthy. I'm taking it day-by-day and hoping I can keep this up because I'm really liking the new me.
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