WHY????

I had a whole post that I typed out at work in an email so I could copy and paste it here. But I forgot......I can't paste in blogger. WHY????? I wanted to vent about my bad day and this is the sprinkles on the icing of my cake.

That is all.

Week 1 Success

I have to write this quick because I'm late leaving for work already. But I had success with my first low carb week. I lost 7 lbs! I was actually at the 7 lb mark last Thursday and the scale hasn't moved since then (well, it went up once....what!) but I still consider it a success because a) "Auntie Flo" is in town and I have major bloatedness and b) I had a couple of minor slip ups on the weekend.

Yesterday morning I did not wake up to workout at the gym. So I came home and did 1/2 hour of aerobics. I didn't burn near as many calories but at least it was some movement. This morning I DID wake up but did not go to the gym because I was irritated at someone and lost in thought. But I plan on getting a walk in at lunch and another half hour tonight. I really need to start weights and even more so, I really need to start doing crunches.

I'm spending more money on food which I don't like. But I'm trying this lifestyle eating foods that I enjoy so it doesn't seem like a diet. If I keep this up, I'll be able to stick with it for a long time. Hopefully forever!

Off to work I go.... eh.

What the Funk???

I'm in a funk today. Actually for the past couple of days. I'm irritated, withdrawn and I just don't feel like dealing with any friend drama. Truth is, I'm lonely. I wish I had someone to love and that loved me back. I started thinking earlier tonight (big mistake!) that it's been a really long time since I had someone truly love me. Like since the early 2000-2001. When I was in that relationship, I knew the guy loved me. I mean he REALLY loved me, I never had to question that, no matter what kind of troubles we had. I miss the consistency of knowing that no matter what, I was loved and that nobody would ever take my place. I've had relationships since then and I haven't had that feeling. It's a pretty depressing thought.

I wonder when I will have that again....or if I will have it. The worst part is, I'm not really up for "looking" for a guy right now, I'm still hung up on McS. I'm also trying to work on myself, physically and emotionally, so that I can be prepared for my next relationship. So my only choices here are to fake the funk for a while and put myself out there to meet new people. Or I can be lonely and wait for the next guy to cross my path that really moves me. Ugh, who knows.

How's It Going?

I'm here to post quicklly about how things are going with my diet. They are actually going better than I ever imagined they would. I resisted doing low carb for so long because I was in the "Weight Watcher" frame of mind where I could have anything I want as long as I pay attention to the portions. I'm sure to an extent it's true......if I actually followed that plan. I think as I've gotten older, my body needed this change of pace. I feel better and sometimes I almost convince myself that these few days have magically made me thin (but then I look in the mirror). But still....I'm seeing good things.

I've been waking up even earlier to go to the gym, which has made me pretty tired at night. I think my body is still in "adjust" mode. I have not had any real cravings for carbs, as I thought I would especially at night. I don't miss potatoes or pasta....all they do is make me full and sleepy. Sometimes I go through periods where my stomach feels empty, even shortly after I've eaten. I don't like those periods. I've also started to drink water and have given up diet soda completely. I don't care what "they" say though (whoevery "they" is).....water does not make me full. It never has....in fact, when I'm drinking it that's when I feel empty sometimes. But then when I started chewing gum and actually had some flavor in my mouth, it got better.

Anyway all is good. This weekend will probably be the most challenging. Thankfully I don't have any picnics or BBQ's to go to so I won't have that temptation to deal with just yet. But I've been known to do great all week and blow it big time on the weekend. I am determined not to do that this time.

My Low Carb-session

Tomorrow I'm going to embark on a lifestyle that I have previously resisted with a fury. I'm going on a low-carb diet. Actually let me rephrase that since I hate the word diet. I'm going on a low-carb lifestyle. I'm kind of excited about it right now but I'm sure my tummy and my brain will be feeling otherwise by tomorrow afternoon. I decided to try this because prior to a couple of weeks ago, I have been working my butt off working out and 'mostly' eating the right things, and I haven't seen much results. I looked at a typical menu for my day and realized that between the bran cereal for breakfast, fruit and fiber one bars for snack, sandwich for lunch and meat and carbs for dinner....I was having A LOT of carbs/sugar in my day.

Now I want to see some serious results. I'm giving myself 2 months on this to see how I do. During that time I will track what I eat and my exercise also. I also want to take pictures along the way. I really hope that this is something that I can stick with. Because I really do need something to work for me. I may be visiting one of my friends and my mom in August and I really want to be thinner than when I've seen them last.

My typical menu will look something like this:

Breakfast: Omlette and maybe a slice or two of turkey bacon
Snack: strawberries and 1/2 serving of almonds
Lunch: turkey on 1 slice of pumpernickel bread, 1 cup of salad with vinegar
Snack: apple and 1/2 serving of almonds
Dinner: chicken or porkchop with salad, broccoli or some other kind of veggie
Snack (if need be): Stawberry smoothie (strawberries, 1/2 cup of milk, ice, splenda)

So far the only things that excite me from this menu is the 1/2 sandwich and the smoothie. LOL

Good luck to me!

Back to the Grind

It's been way too long since I posted. I can't post at work anymore or read any blogs because the fun suckers blocked blogs about a month ago. Probably because of me. Whatever. So because it's late and I should get to bed, I'm going to post what I emailed myself last week (and didn't have time/forgot to post). I was having a particularly bad day. I'm over it now. Tomorrow (hopefully) I will be a good girl and post about my boring life.

Ok never mind. It's not letting me paste. WTF?

Whatever.

Random Act of Sensitivity

I experienced a totally random act of over-sensitivity the other day at work that is still bothering me. Normally I'm not one to hold grudges but I am really pissed off and I don't think it's going to go away any time soon.

I was pretty cool with the other woman in my office, AC. I kind of had to be, we rely on each other since we are responsible for answering our bosses phones and so we have to coordinate our vacation schedules and days off with each other so we can always have office coverage (gag).

Before I get into the random act, I have to say that I have some built up hostility over my work situation. I'm constantly being left alone because AC has taken on a new role which takes her out of the Admin role and puts her into a project management role. The part I'm pissed about is the fact that most of the time, I'm always left alone in the office. She's either on vacation, in meetings or when she IS in, she's out wandering and being a social butterfly. Needless to say, I'm left there by myself, having to find coverage or just leave the phone when I have to do something such as going pee. It's annoying, frustrating and makes me unmotivated to go to work. I'm not angry at her, it's part of her job....it's frustrating though that they can't fill the other secretary position that's supposed to be there. It would be a great relief. But they have no intentions of filling it, so for now I have to suck it up and smile.

Anyway last Wednesday AC came into the office, and she was late. That's not unusual. But she's there for a few minutes and starts acting dramatic. Announcing over and over again that she had a headache. Then she would lay her head on the desk. Lift it up and make sure she said again that her head hurt. Then came the claims of nausea. Finally she picked her head up off the desk and said she was going home. Naturally I was annoyed. This was the first week in a very long time that she was in the office all day for the full 5 days. Guess not. The next day I come in and we get a very brief email that she's not feeling well and won't be in. I was enraged but really what could I say? She wasn't feeling well and I couldn't fault her for that.

Friday rolls around and she comes in, super chipper and says good morning. I was busy for a change, but I did say good morning. She goes into one of our bosses office and my boss asked her how she was feeling. She said she felt better, she was fatigued and she really needed rest. I didn't really think much of it other than it must be nice to be able to rest for a couple of days when you're tired.

So I'm making copies of something, and answering the phones at the same time and I take a call for my boss. After I transferred it, AC comes out of the office and says "I'm doing fine, thank you for asking" HUH? I looked at her with an incredulous look on my face and say "What are you talking about?" She proceeds to tell me that when she walked in to the office, I didn't even bother to ask her how she was feeling or anything. I told her that I said good morning to her but that I was busy. She says "Busy? yeah right."

Oh no you didn't.

That pissed me off. I said something that probably sparked the rest of the confrontation, but I'm glad I said it. I said "For someone who was just off the last couple of days, you sure are in a bad mood" She didn't like that at all. Basically the rest of the conversation was her continuing to bitch that I didn't do anything to see if she was feeling better, and me saying that I'm not having this conversation with her and that I was leaving early.

It sounds very trivial and stupid when I type it out or even talk about it. But I don't know what her fucking problem was and why she felt the need to confront me about something so stupid. Honestly her making a huge deal about it makes me believe that she wasn't "sick". But she wanted to make sure to act as dramatic as possible so that it's ok that she was out. Her facial expressions and the way she talked to me was uncalled for (also calling me paranoid....bitch!) and honestly I don't feel like our relationship will be the same. I don't want it to be either.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm going there to earn a paycheck and that's it. She's not getting much conversation from me and she's sure as hell not going to get me to coddle her no matter how much she bitches about it. She can go pound salt! hehe

Myspace funnies

It's been too long since I've written. I don't get to blog at work anymore because they are fun suckers that blocked all blogs and blogging programs. I had an entire bitch session blog all typed out but I've been too busy to even paste it on here.

So here I am. I was just on myspace and I must say that is a funny place to be. Sometimes in a funny "haha" way. Sometimes not.

So there's this guy on there that apparently is in love with the Hooters restaurant chain. Because every few weeks or so, he posts pictures that he takes with the Hooters girls. Nobody comments on them but he still posts them. I'm wondering if he posts them to make himself look cool. He's almost 50 and he really is a nice person, I know this because I've exchanged conversation with him. But really....what's with all the hooter pics, come on! Eh, whatever floats your boat...who am I to judge anyway?

Next was the guy that IMed me this morning. I don't know what is wrong with me, but men irritate me these days and I have no tolerance. The guy IMs me and it starts out innocent enough. He asks me how I'm doing and how my day is going, which is a refreshing change from the "Your sexy" opening line. I told him I was good and asked him how he was doing and he took that opportunity to tell me how he wasn't so good and he couldn't wait to get out of Georgia because people are so judgmental. I didn't even get a chance to ask him why (I really didn't want to ask him why either but I'm a courteous person) when he tells me that his wife died and his family doesn't like his parenting skills and he just wants to go somewhere away from everyone so he can raise his kids in peace. Wow. TMI for the first minute that you've never talked to me. My short answers to him after that most likely indicated to him that he probably shouldn't have gone there right away because he tried changing the subject. But it was too late. He already ruined things. Why can't I meet someone normal?

Am I even open to meeting anyone? It doesn't seem like it....otherwise I would give people a chance instead of finding things that irritate me about them.

The Time of My Life

I went to New Hampshire yesterday to see my all time favorite lead singer, Bret Michaels. I had the time of my life! My two girlfriends and I took the day off and set out on our 4 hour drive yesterday morning. I couldn't wait to get there, even though I knew I had a long time of standing around and waiting ahead of me. Bret Michaels is SO worth it. I hoped to get there early afternoon so I could grab spot #1 outside and camp there for the day. We ended up leaving around 11 and got there about 3:00. There was about 15-20 ahead of us and I was ok with that.




We met some really cool people in line also. Everyone was genuinely surprised that we would travel from New York just to see the show. Why not???? It was finally time to go in and much to my pleasure, we got right up front. There was only one group of girls in front of us but I parked myself right in front of Bret's microphone stand.




I never thought I would be one of these types of fans, but when I realized how close to "the man" I would be, I almost felt like I wanted to cry. I was SO excited. Anyway the first band, Resin, was actually pretty good. There songs kind of stuck with me, they had a nice melody. The lead singer was pretty easy on the eyes too.



But he's nowhere near as good looking as Bret Michaels. That man is BEE-YOU-TEE-FUL!

But the best part of the show was when Bret kept looking at me and pointing at me. One of the times he looked at me I told him I loved him (LOL) and I'm sure he hears that all the time but when he saw me yell it to him, he got this huge smile. I was in heaven.

The only thing I would change about the night is that I would have loved to stick around and meet him afterwards and get a picture with him. But I was so dehydrated and we were tired from the ride. From previous experience I knew it would take at least an hour or so before they came out, and then another hour to get through the group of people that was waiting around for him so we decided to leave.


Needless to say I will be looking to see what other shows might be close enough for me to go to! I think I'm becoming a groupie. :o)

Too much to ask?

I've been wanting to write for a week but I've been so busy with school and other stuff, I haven't given myself the time to write. Officially school is over tomorrow. I still have a Quiz and a final project for Visual Basic to finish. I have a 20 page paper for a lit. class and I haven't started it or read anything I need for it. Ouch. I have an extension on both. Not very long but it's better than nothing.

Tomorrow the girls and I are headed to NH to see Bret Michaels again. I'm excited to do the road trip, excited to see his Sexxiness again and just to be off work and away from here. It's a nice distraction.

I fell in to McSouthern's trap again. He always manages to find a way to lure me in. Then I get comfortable with him and then he changes things again. He has a habit of being all over me for a couple weeks and then not bothering me the next. It's getting old. I just want someone for me. Someone who adores me. Is that so much to ask?

I will not let him get me down. No sir!

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To...

Today I'm hosting my very own pity party, complete with cussing, ranting, venting, mockery, sarcasm and childish tantrums. When I'm done, I will snap out of it. But now it's time to PARTY.

I suck. I suck at school work because I'm a lazy ass who puts my work off until the last minute, and then when the last minute rolls around I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to get everything done, doing it half-assed and wondering why I waited so long. Why did I wait so long anyway? Truth be told, I hate school. I work all day and I have a child. I resent having to take my free time reading stuff I don't want to read, and then writing papers about the shit that I don't want to read. I want to do other things....anything. Just not school work. Often times lately I thought, "what am I doing this for anyway?" The economy fucking sucks.....20 somethings fresh out of college can barely find jobs, what makes me think I'm going to be so special? Oh yeah plus I'm putting myself in more debt. Just what I need. But I can't stop now......well, I shouldn't anyway.

I suck at losing weight. I am working my ass off. I have been going to the gym every day, now switching it up until mornings. Up until this week, there was no way I could get out of bed to go to the gym. But thanks to my friend A, we have been motivating each other to wake up. So I'm burning tons of calories and I'm eating way better than I used to eat. Not perfect....but much, much better. I step on the scale this morning, I haven't lost anything this week. What the fuck? Yes there were a couple of times that I didn't do great, but it could have been worse. Yesterday I did eat more than usual, so I'm hoping that is why I didn't see a loss. This upcoming week I'm doing an experiment. I'm staying within a certain amount of calories, no junk and making sure I work out every day, just to see if I lose. If I don't, then I'm throwing my hands in the air and saying Fuck it! I will embrace my fatness and be happy eating what I want. Or fake being happy, either/or.

I'm hungry today and it won't go away. Not after the bowl of cereal I ate for breakfast, or the 1/2 cup pineapple I ate for snack, or the ham sandwich that I ate for lunch......an hour early......and I'm still hungry. I haven't been hungry like this in a while! I don't like it. It kind of hinders the whole weight loss thing. I'm annoyed. I want to eat what I want.

Needy Nate has calmed down on the texts and calls. In fact he left me alone for the most part the last two days, only sending me an email Tuesday night asking me how my day was and how my homework was coming. I also got an email this morning asking me if I'm ok. Am I ok???? Why? Because you didn't hear from me? What the fuck dude....you don't know me well enough to even care if I'm ok so what the fuck? I know I should type him an email letting him know I'm not in to this, I just have to think of what to say. Or just ignore, I don't know and don't care right now. He ruined it with his needy ways!!! I want to tell him to PISS OFF!
I will never again in my life suffocate someone via text & email.

One cool thing. Angelina Jolie and crew are here for the next couple of weeks shooting some scenes for a new movie she's doing called "Salt" They are doing car chase scenes on the bridges here right near where I work. The good part: I can see if from where I'm working. Bad part: My exit to get to work will be closed. Fun but what the fuck?

Oh one other thing......my bosses have had less meetings lately, which means they are here more. Which means I can't do whatever I want and have to pretend to be busy, look busy even when I'm not. I am lucky to have a job, yes. But fuck, sometimes I'm so bored I can't stand it.

Ok I'm done now.

Yeah, follow your instincts!

Let's see.....8 emails and 12 texts later (all ignored) I haven't talked to the new guy since the day before yesterday, and that was only a response to his text saying I was at work and couldn't text (which he responded by sending me FOUR more texts....sheesh!) So this was a really good experience for me. Because I know with McS I had some of the same tendencies. The big difference though is that we were in a relationship, where as I barely knew the new guy. But I remember times that I would call McS and if I didn't hear from him within the hour, I would call him again. And then again....and then maybe send him a couple of texts.

WTF....I really did that? I realize now how annoying as hell that must have been. Obviously if a person wanted to talk, they would return the call right? Anyway this was a real eye opener and I will never, ever do the things I've done again in any relationships. I'm sure I'll find some other way to annoy the one I'm with, but that won't be one of the ways. :)

So There's This Guy...

I recently started talking to a new guy. He's long distance (because I can never do anything simple like be with someone local who's emotionally available!) and I connected with him online. At first he kind of annoyed me because he would email me and then if he didn't hear from me within a few hours, he would email me back and ask if I was ok. Or he would apologize if he said anything to offend me. To me it felt like a bit much....but at the same time, didn't I want attention?

The other night I was in a mood and feeling kind of lonely, so I called him. He actually turned out to be very funny. We had a good conversation and the questions came up about our exes and why we were single. I told him about McS and he asked me if I was still in love with him. I lied and said no. But I still am. I'm ok with talking to other guys while I still feel something for him, because maybe I will find someone that will help me get over my feelings.

There are things about new guy that raise some red flags. What I just mentioned about him basically being up my ass, but also I get the feeling that he's someone that thinks a lot and maybe assumes things or comes up with scenarios as to why things are happening the way they are. Like he noticed that my emails to him usually came at the lunch or dinner hour and he wondered if maybe it was because I was really married and that was the only time I could get away to email him.

Huh?

Anyway so I'm keeping my eyes open with this one. If I'm seeing red flags now maybe that's a sign. Part of me wonders if it's just me. When I was with McS, there were times that he obviously didn't answer the phone because he didn't feel like talking to me. Or we would talk about getting together and he would always make a big deal about it, it was never yes. He always had to "see what was going on" in his life. These are the things that made me feel unwanted and honestly like I annoyed him. Now I'm getting the same type of feelings with new guy. When he texts me I look at the phone, see it's from him and honestly don't feel like texting him back. Or when he calls, sometimes I don't feel like picking up.

GASP! Is this what a normal person does? Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this will teach me self control and that I can make myself unavailable (and at the same time, all that more appealing!!) and things will be ok.

I don't know, it's just weird being on this end of it. A good weird.

Other than that, I'm crazy busy finishing up my work for the semester that ends May 1st. I can't wait for it to be over!

Let's Play a Game called "Procrastination"

I like to play that game because apparently I'm good at it. Like right now....I should be doing homework since the semester is dangerously close to being over and I'm not even half way through some of the work for my classes. But instead I'm here, writing a blog about procrastinating, or on myspace which is boring anyway, or staring into space thinking about how much work I have to do. I'm kind of over the homework thing! I'll probably be cramming all weekend when it's gorgeous out. That will teach me (though probably not!)

I had my step class tonight and I am worn out again. I remember the days when I was much lighter and I was doing "double time" in class with the fancy moves that made it extra fun. Now I stick to the basics, watch the clock and suffer through the backache I get. Don't get me wrong, I still love it. It gives me an awesome workout and it's fun. It will just be more fun when I have less weight to hoist on and off the step repeatedly.

So between work, working out and mommying, I don't have much else going on right now. I'm excited to go to NH at the end of the month with my two girlfriends to see Bret Michaels again. We decided to get a hotel room instead of trying to make the 4 hour trip home afterwards. That will make it even better. I think I'm looking forward to the experience just as much as seeing that yummy man on stage.

I'm getting tired and distracted now. Maybe I have ADD. Anyway I have to go find something else besides homework to do.

Short but Sweet!

It's been too long since I've written! First I was avoiding coming here because I thought I should write about how McS did a complete turnaround, but then I was embarassed of myself because I let him in my life and I didn't really have any words for it. I do have words for it now but I'll have to try to write at work tomorrow because I'm crazy tired from working out, and I have homework to do.

It's crunch time again for school, the semester is ending in a month and I have a ton to do. I always wait until the last minute, I don't know why. Then the thought of school work consumes me. It's a vicious cycle!

My Second Chance!

My two girlfriends and I decided to take a road trip on May 1st to New Hampshire.....to see Bret Michaels again!! Does that qualify me as a groupie? LOL As good of an attitude I had about what happened with my stupid shoes the other night, inside I felt a little bit bummed. So I started surfing to see if he was playing close and NH is it. It's about a 3 hour drive so we're all taking the day off and making a road trip out of it. I'm excited!!

It's almost time to get out of work, thank goodness! Although today wasn't a long day. I'm looking forward to my step aerobics class tonight even though after last Tuesday's class, I was sore and weak for the rest of the week. LOL Still it's a lot of fun and I managed to get my friend another guest pass so she can suffer with me. :o)

It was confirmed today that we will not be getting our yearly increment raises at work. At least not the group I belong to (I work for the state). It was decided that in lieu of layoffs, we could do without them. Which I can understand, I guess. I have job security though, so a raise would have been nice. But I'm actually keeping a pretty good attitude about it. I mean I know what my salary is and what I can spend. It's not like I'll be making any LESS money, just the same amount. Then some day I'll get a big fat retroactive check and will be very happy. So while some people are ticked about it, I'm really not. Slightly disappointed but I'm handling it like a champ.

My Rock of Love....and Big John too!

Last night I went to see the Bret Michaels band at a local bar. It was the best and most disappointing experience! It was the best because it was Bret Michaels...hello! His show was awesome and he played some Poison songs and it was great to be able to be close enough to actually see him, his facial expressions and that sexy body gliding all over stage....LOL

It was also a great experience because I got to meet "Big John" from the show, he's Bret's road manager/body guard (I think) from the show. He was VERY COOL!

The show was awesome, the place was just big enough for a crowd but yet intimate affair. The people were cool, some were drunk and entertaining, some were young with stars in their eyes and some were older, dressing like they were younger and looking like groupies. It was all what I remember from back in the day!



It was disappointing because I'm the idiot that wore the wrong shoes. First I'll say that I thought the doors opened at 6:30 or 7:00. So we got there around 6:00 and stood in the line, waiting to get in. They didn't actually open the doors until almost 8:00 which would have been ok, except it was windy and freezing. I didn't mind that, I was excited and couldn't wait to get in and get the show started.



Then I realized there was another band opening up for Bret Michaels band, but it was cool because I got to see how close I would be to the man himself. I was pretty damn close....if there were rows, I would have been 4th row.



Not too shabby for $37. The problem was, as they made us wait for the band to start, my feet started hurting. They got worse by the second. So when the opening act was playing, I started to feel like my feet were going to catch on fire. Actually I was waiting for them to go numb so I could actually enjoy the show. But they never did go numb. The band played on and on....and on. Then I was actually getting irritated that they were going on so long, but that stemmed from the intense pain. The band FINALLY ends and I thought, cool. When Bret Micahels goes on I will forget all about my suffering and have a good time.


So they cleared the stage and started setting up for him and then some guy comes on and announces that it will be another 20 minutes before Bret comes on. At that very moment, a wave of nausea overtook me. I think it was either the pain or the fact that everyone started crowding in and pushing up against everyone to get closer. I was basically getting ass raped. Right at that moment, I knew I couldn't wait 20 minutes, much less the whole show. So I told my friend I had to go to the back and sit down. I told her to stay up there, I did not want her to miss out on that experience on the account of my foolish wardrobe choices!

I started to feel a little bit bummed but I decided to stay positive about it. I was still there to see my man and I was determined to have a good time, so I did. I had a couple of beers, sang along with all the songs and really enjoyed myself.


I will never ever wear boots of any kind again when going to a show. I thought wearing sneakers would look silly but many people did (except for the ones who dressed as though they had a date with Bret Michaels after the show! LOL) and that's what I'm going to do. This morning I feel like part of me gipped myself of the experience. So I got online to see if they were playing anywhere close again. I see that they are in NH on May 1st. I looked up the driving directions and that's only a few hours away. I'm thinking ROAD TRIP!! :O)

And the Survey Says....

I'm bored, fighting sleep and haven't written in my blog today. Since I haven't done much of anything today, I decided to do a survey thingy from myspace.

How much older is the person you're currently interested in?
8 years older

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
My son and my dad.....do they count?

Do you usually have weird dreams?
Every once in a while. I had one last week and I wonder about it's meaning.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox?
friends

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
I don't think so.

Have you ever made anyone cry?
Yes, it's been a long time though.

How long do you have until your birthday?
4 months & 3 days

Who did you last talk to in person?
The lady at Fashion Bug

Will the next person you kiss be the same person you last kissed?
I have no idea, part of me wishes yes

Do you want your tongue pierced?
Ouch! No...

Are there any bruises on your body?
Yes there's one on my butt from when I had to park so close to the next car at the gym and had to squeeze between the cars to get out. LOL

Last awkward moment?
When my card got declined at Fashion Bug earlier tonight!

How late did you stay up last night?
Probably around 12:30 or so

Do you know anyone who has been arrested?
yes

When did you last cry?
Earlier today

How are you feeling?
Bored and a little lonely

If you look straight ahead past your computer screen, what do see?
The TV

Do you want someone to call you right now?
Yes but that's not going to happen, it's pretty late.

Last person you had a deep conversation with?
Judith

Do you miss someone?
Always....

Do you like someone?
Unfortunately yes

Do you like hugs?
I love hugs!

Are you a loud person?
Not at all, I'm pretty calm and quiet

Have you ever been given a rose?o
Of course

Have you ever found it hard to tell anyone you like them?
Back when I was a teenager, but not now.

Last July who was the love of of your life?
McS

What is your worst subject in school?
Math

Would you rather have long or short hair?
I like it long

When was the last time you really laughed?
On the phone a little while ago

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Yes, many

Did the one person who hurt you the most recently apologized?
No, he's not one to apologize. He gives reasons for doing what he does but never says "I'm sorry"

Where is your ex right now?
I don't know, either out or sleeping

What do you currently hear right now?
The TV and my fingers on the keyboard

Who did you last tell a secret to?
Its been a long time since I've had any secrets, so I don't know

Do you still talk to the person you had fallen hardest for?
Yes

What does your hair look like right now?
Messy, since I've been laying down

Has anyone ever broken your heart?
Yes, very much so

Is there anyone you trust 100%?
Yes, myself

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
No of my kisses are mistakes

Are you wearing any clothes that don’t belong to you?
No

Is the last person you hugged older than you?
No, I hugged my son last

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attracted to?
Yes unfortunately

What does the last text message in your inbox say, and who is it from?
"yeah but I could use the money too" from Amanda

Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My arms from doing weights 2 days ago

Do you wear your feelings all over your face?
Definitely

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
I don't remember.

Do you like your life?
Most parts of it

What are you most excited about?
Seeing Bret Michaels tomorrow night!

Have you told anyone you love them today?
My son

Do you believe that ex's can be friends?
Yes, depending on the people and the situation

Do people underestimate you?
I don't really know, maybe sometimes

Do you hate being alone?
Most of the time, no. Sometimes like Friday nights I do.

What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?
Meet Bret Michaels!

Do you have unlimited texting?
Yes

Does anyone call you babe?
Sometimes McS when we he gets off the phone

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Just my son....wasn't this question already asked?

Do you want someone back in your life?
Yes very much

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
No

Do you find it in your heart to forgive?
Yes, I'm better at forgiving than forgetting though

Do you believe in karma?100%

Name 5 things that are within your reach?
cell phonehome, remote, notebook, credit cards, wallet

Do you have a teddy bear?
Not anymore

When was the last time you consumed alcohol?
A few weeks ago.

*I am sleep now. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED*

Can I Borrow Someone's Boot?

I'm still sore today. But I'll take this kind of sore for being overweight any day. I'm also in a funk today. I was fooling around with the camera the other night and took some pictures. Looking at those pictures reminded me that I need to keep working out and really focus on eating better. Today I'm afraid that I will never lose weight. I am afraid of that because sometimes when I'm done with lunch and I realize I am not satisfied and could eat more, that is a depressing thought. Also my night time snacking, while better than it was before, has not stopped. It doesn't happen every night anymore, but it happened last night.

Oh and what's with the fact that I came home from dinner at my dad's with three stuffed shells as leftovers and decided that I needed to eat them last night to finish them up so I won't have to deal with counting the calories on them another day? Why couldn't I just throw them out? Or save them for another meal? Because I didn't want to. I find creative (and sometimes not-so-creative) excuses not to do what I'm supposed to do. Then I end up feeling bad about it. I've been working my ass off at the gym, for what? To maintain. If I'm going to work out so much, I want to see results from it dammit! I'm pissed off at myself that I'm doing all this work just to make up for what I've eaten. I need to give myself a good swift kick in the pants.

No Pain, No Gain

Step aerobiccs + extra pounds + 24 hours = PAIN. I don't mind this kind of pain though because I know I'm benefitting from it. But boy am I sore since last night. Getting up from the couch or my chair at work today after sitting for long periods proved to be painful! I loved the class though. I did great with the choreography....all the moves I once knew came back to me. But my legs and back were killing me so I didn't enjoy it to the fullest but I had fun. I'm doing it again next week. I'm also proud of myself for working out today despite my pain and the fact that I went to bed at 2:30 a.m. last night. I don't know why I torture myself like that!

This is going to be a shortie....I'm beat and making it an early night.