Happy Saturday

I say Happy Saturday because I refuse to acknowledge or celebrate the V word today. LOL And so I shall move on! Last night my son and I went to see Friday the 13th. I have to say it was GREAT. It wasn't a remake of the original. Same concept but different storyline. It was gory of course so I covered my eyes sometimes, but those movies don't 'scare' me. I'm glad I saw it in the theater because I liked hearing the 'oooohhh's and ahhhhh's' from the audience....oh and the clapping too. LOL I would actually see it again!

It was nice to get out and do something fun. Of course when I got back home the feelings of lonliness returned. I ended up going to bed early and waking up at 6:30 am. I never do that! I usually stay up pretty late and then sleep in until 9 or so. But I don't have anyone to stay awake for anymore. I'm not even trying to sound pathetic (LOL) it's just a fact. My feelings carried over in to today and I had another really bad morning. It's weird....I've been through breakups before. Some of them were really painful. But I have never felt like this in my whole life. I guess the best way I can explain it is, I feel like I need to get out of my own skin. I feel like I can't stand having the thoughts I have and I want to escape, but I can't.

But like someone very nice told me....I need to feel these emotions, all of them and sooner or later I will feel better. She rocks :o) So I will do that....I know this isn't forever but I sure can't wait to start feeling good again!

On to other things, my diet is horrible again and no workout since Tuesday. I really admire the people who can get themselves up and moving when they are feeling their worst. I am not one of those. Maybe next week I will force myself. I have a friend who I go to the gym with and I just told her I'm having some problems and not up to working out. She politely tried to encourage me but didn't push. I told her I would try next week.

I feel like such a martyr for writing all about McS and how terrible life is right now. I'm really not that negative! This has been such a great way for me to get feelings out. I've also written emails that I have not sent but as I'm writing down my angry feelings it really helps most of the time. (Sometimes it makes it worse though because I get even more mad. LOL But for the most part it's good). Anyway I hope one day I can give someone else advice. This sure is a rollercoaster but I know in the end I will be one hell of a strong girl :o) I will never let myself be this hurt again. That's it for now!