Here I am blogging again. Is it against blog etiquette to blog more than once during the day? I just came here to get some thoughts out. First the good stuff. I did end up going to the gym....by myself....and I have to say it felt GREAT. I was proud of me for going on my own instead of wimping out. Not only did I go, but I went for an extra 5 minutes which may not seem to be a big deal, but normally I just barely make after 40 minutes on the elliptical. Today I had lots of energy. I'm glad I did it.
Now the not so good stuff. I can't shake this bit of sadness I feel. Last night I heard from an old friend on Facebook. (I'll call her Slobber....see below) She found me which was really coincidental because last week I tired to find her but I when I searched I didn't come up with any results. Anyway me, this friend and another girl were really close in high school for probably a period of two years, from 9-10 grade. We even nicknamed ourselves "Slobber" "Beener" and "Blobber" Thankfully, I was Beener. LOL Anyway after 10th grade we kind of drifted apart. Or maybe I drifted from them, I can't remember. We didn't get in a fight or anything I was just wrapped up in playing sports and they weren't. Then Slobber moved back to her old hometown which was just the next town over, but we didn't go to school together anymore so then we really lost touch. Blobber and I still went to the same school obviously but we really didn't talk other than saying hi in the hallway. Thinking about it now, it was weird. It was probably my fault, I did get wrapped up in myself, my home life and sports.
I saw Slobber in 2004 when I moved back here. I happened to move to her hometown and her daughter was a cheerleader for my son's pop warner football team. We only talked once because cheerleading parents don't sit near the football parents. It's weird, I know. Anyway we played catch up really quick and I thought I would see her more at the games but I didn't. There was no mention of Blobber at that time. Then we lost touch again.
Fast forward to last night. She requests me as a friend and sends me a message, saying that she was glad she found me, etc. She told me that her and Blobber had reconnected and became really close. Then she told me that last year "Blobber" died of liver cancer. I was floored. She was my age, she had a young child and people my age didn't die from stuff like that. You would think that anyway. That shock lasted me the whole night and I felt sad. I felt sad that I didn't keep in touch with her. I felt sad that this happened to her and her small boy was left without a mom. I felt sad that Slobber had to go through losing such a close friend. I just feel sad. I think it's being prolonged because we've since exchanged more emails and most of it is about Blobber. I also feel like I should be thankful of every second that I'm alive and sweating the small stuff is just stupid. Little arguments, little things that annoy me, they seem so unimportant but deep down I know that those things will still bother me.
I still feel sad.....I know I will snap out of it. I guess tonight I'm just blah.
2 comments:
How very sad. :( You can't blame yourself for feeling sad. I lost my friend Vanessa to liver cancer on my birthday 2 years ago, and I was pissed at the world for a while because she had so much going for her. Now, 2 years later, I'm just glad I got to have her in my life for whatever time I was given. Hope you are doing better. ((((HUGS))))
Awww, thank you so much! I had let myself feel down about it for a little bit and then I snapped out of it. Her brother ended up posting a link to her saying goodnight to her son on camera (very, very sad!) and when I saw how sick she was, I know she's in a much better place!
Wow...having your friend die on your birthday must have been devastating for you! Seriously I don't know sometimes how we as adults handle all we have to go through. I'm glad that now you can appreciate the time you spent with her, that is the most important thing!
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